I was married for 9 years, had 3 children. He started having internet flings, and actually invited one woman to our home for a few days. They even had the nerve to play footsie with each other right in front of me. Anyway, after that, and some physical abuse, I took the 3 kids and left. Focused on myself and the kids for a few years, and eventually met someone and fell hard. He was amazing. We got along so well together, seemed like a perfect couple. We lived together for 12 years. I kicked him out this past January after I find out he had been seeing his ex-wife. He had been seeing her for over a year. All the time he's seeing her, he's telling me how much he hates her, and how much he loves me. I was so hurt that he cheated, and lied, and everything else that goes along with cheating.
Right now I have no desire to love anyone again. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, but I don't want love. I feel like I will never trust anyone again. How do you trust again? I sure don't want to be hurt again and the easiest way seems to be to not let anyone close enough. I don't miss him, but I am very lonely and sad at times. Is this it?