Who’s in control, you or your emotions?”

When you allow your emotions to enter into discussions over conflicting opinions or positions, you cloud the issues and detract from your argument.

Even if you have a valid point of view, it becomes cloaked in feelings, which reduce its connection to rational thought.

You risk losing the other person’s respect. When you’re emotional you end up handing control to those who are in charge of their emotions.

Next time conflict arises, stay calm, bite your tongue, silently count to ten, take a deep breath and state your position in an objective and unemotional manner.

Remember, there is a time and a place for showing your emotions.  Powerful people keep their feelings undercover until the time is right .

 ©Jane Powell  (meditations for women)
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Live the life you love, don't go for looks; they can deceive.

Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. 

Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Don't count the years, count the memories...........

~Author Unknown 
You are a smart woman Jessy .. Like your posts 
Polly63 wrote: You are a smart woman Jessy .. Like your posts 


Thank you Polly.  I hope you are on my friend list.  If not, I will add you.  I am looking forward to getting to know you.

hugs, Jessy 
PS:  just read your profile and I love your "positive attitude".  :D
Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did.
Know when to let go and when to hold on tight.
Stop rushing.
Don't be intimidated to say it like it is.
Stop apologizing all the time.
Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph.
Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down.
Stop giving your power away.
Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting.
Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it.
 
Finally know who you are.

-Kristin Armstrong 
There is a trick to speaking that deals with emotions. It is called passive speech. The more upset you are, the more you are trying to control your emotions and respond, just lower your voice. The calmer your voice and the less volume controls your emotions, and has the same effect on the listeners. You then control yourself, and the situation as well as the listeners. You may then steer the conversation on to less fraught ground. I hope this piece of advice finds willing ears. :)
Miss Information
TheLadyL wrote: There is a trick to speaking that deals with emotions. It is called passive speech. The more upset you are, the more you are trying to control your emotions and respond, just lower your voice. The calmer your voice and the less volume controls your emotions, and has the same effect on the listeners. You then control yourself, and the situation as well as the listeners. You may then steer the conversation on to less fraught ground. I hope this piece of advice finds willing ears. :)
Miss Information


Excellent advice....thanks Lady :D  

“The ones you love don’t always know it.” We have hundreds of ways to express our feelings, through words and gestures both large and small. All too often, however, we keep our feelings to ourselves assuming that those we care for know how much they mean to us. The truth is, they often don’t. The next chance you get, tell that special someone how much joy they bring into your life. Let them know how special they are to you. Make sure you give a hug and get a hug. This will deepen your appreciation for one another and brighten your relationship. 
Good topic - another thing to remember is to use "I" statements rather than "you" which puts people on the defensive. What I mean is, if you are upset about something, start your sentence with an "I". For example instead of saying, "You always want to go to that restaurant. You never give me a chance to decide." or "You always do that, you know it irritates me."
Instead start with an I. Such as, " I would love to try another restaurant. Let's go there." or "When you do that (whatever it is that person does which irritates you), I feel upset over it, it bothers me".

And it is so true about lowering the voice when a disagreement starts, it works! :D
seashells wrote: Good topic - another thing to remember is to use "I" statements rather than "you" which puts people on the defensive. What I mean is, if you are upset about something, start your sentence with an "I". For example instead of saying, "You always want to go to that restaurant. You never give me a chance to decide." or "You always do that, you know it irritates me."
Instead start with an I. Such as, " I would love to try another restaurant. Let's go there." or "When you do that (whatever it is that person does which irritates you), I feel upset over it, it bothers me".

And it is so true about lowering the voice when a disagreement starts, it works! :D


Seashells, I love what you said  :D  here.  Thanks  
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I think the most important thing to remember is at times its best to just smile and say NOTHING.
Laurie
TheLadyL wrote: I think the most important thing to remember is at times its best to just smile and say NOTHING.
Laurie


I totally agree, but sometimes, I lose it and speak when I shouldn't, and I am always sorry for handling it that way, but when words are said........ :(