So amazingly after my seperation/divorce in the past three years I have been in three relationships, first one very short, I was not comfortable with her and I was not ready yet. The second, I fell in love with, a woman my age but she had never been married before. For a year we had a very good relationship, I stayed over every weekend. Then I think she felt over committed and she backed away, may of been because I said "I love you" and that was too much for her. We struggled for another year, but she just wanted to be friends and I was looking for more, so I chose to leave.
Currently, I met a wonderful woman who I really, really like, am very comfortable with, she is very attractive to me and I love her personality, and we have been dating once a week for about 8 months. She had an original mairrage for 9 years, two grown children, then a somewhat chaotic mid life, then cancer. She is a survivor on 4th year remision. She had a second marraige to a substance abuser that she was in love with, he died more than a year ago.
So my problem, I just have doubts that she is "in to me". I am also afraid to push too much, mainly because of my previous experience. She says tha she wants to go slow. I am OK with that and I think she needs time because of her previous relationship dying and her cancer, those were both very tramatic life events. However I feel that I am just here to be a weekly date, I only met her parents after 7 months. She only invited me to her church once and then since even though I politely implied I would like to again. Almost like she is not letting me into her life. Is this another woman who just does not want a committment? Am I right or wrong for not pushing? I am gun shy from my last relationship, she may want me to tell her I am falling in love with her but I do not want to doom this relationship like I have have done the last. Or the last may of not been my fault at all. Or am I just not finding the right person. This is all on top of the fact that I am a complete "noob" at dating. I have tried asking her out more often, but get politely rejected. She asked me over for Thanksgiving, and later that day offered to have me stay over, then politely withdrew the offer. Very confusing!
So, being inclinded to paranoia, I am preparing myself for another rejection in the near future. I want to commit to someone, but try not to push the other person to that if that's not what they want, yet I need more than just an occasional date.
Any help or advice as to what I may be doing right or wrong is most appreciated.