Conscious Choices

Everything in our lives is chosen either consciously or unconsciously. All your choices yesterday, last year, ten years ago, have resulted in where you are today, what you do today, what you have around you today. This is hard for many people to swallow. They prefer to see life as fateful, or luckful, and therefore avoid responsibility for their own destiny.

There are many random, uncontrollable and unpredictable events, but our destiny is not defined by these events - it is defined by how we respond to them. And our responsibility - ability to respond - is always in our own hands.

If we respond with desire we will likely be disappointed at some future stage when we do not get what we want. If we respond with expectation we will again, at some stage, be let down. If we respond with annoyance or frustration we only disempower ourselves. Desire, expectation and getting upset are never the best choices. Until you can see this, you will not choose how you live. Life, circumstances and events will likely choose for you!
I strongly disagree, Daisy. You said,

"If we respond with desire we will likely be disappointed at some future stage when we do not get what we want. If we respond with expectation we will again, at some stage, be let down.".

I'm more positive about situations, and no matter their futility (lol) I believe there is always hope. To respond negatively makes nihilists of us.

An example:

There's a girl who waits at the tables at a local hotel where go for my breakfast at weekends. Her name is Tamsin. She is very beautiful and also very married. Were I the pessimist I could have thought, inviting her out would lead only to disappointment, and instead I would lower my eyes, stare at the table and grunt. But no, while she took my breakfast order I said to her, a hint of coquette in my voice, "What are you doing tonight, Tamsin?"

"Are you taking me out?" she replied.

Surprised, I said, "Am I???"

She laughed and went to get my breakfast.

Do you see? There was no disappointed. Tamsin and I enjoyed a joyful exchange.

Damn shame though. She is very pretty.

So, Daisy... what are you doing tonight?
What I am doing tonight? Well I learn from my past not to do it again, so I made a choice to stay home tonight lol.
daisyjean wrote: What I am doing tonight? Well I learn from my past not to do it again, so I made a choice to stay home tonight lol.


I'll bring the champagne and chocolates, then I'll help you do it again lol much more fun that way
Jake62 wrote:
daisyjean wrote: What I am doing tonight? Well I learn from my past not to do it again, so I made a choice to stay home tonight lol.


I'll bring the champagne and chocolates, then I'll help you do it again lol much more fun that way


:lol: you sure have a great sense of humor, don't forget the flowers :wink:
haven't forgotten! interflora on their way x
:mrgreen: :wink:
Great post, Daisy. I see this was posted back in March of this year, but as busy as I've been and as little as I have been on the site in the last few months, it's no surprise that I missed it.

That said, a lot of what you posted rings true with utter absolution in the way I've come to live my life. Being divorced and living alone for the past five years, I've had plenty of time to think; to evalutate the present, ponder my past, and wonder what the immediate (and long term) future held.

At first, and after 15 years of marriage, it's no surprise to feel completely and totally lost when you suddenly find yourself alone. To quote John Lennon (and I love the quotes you posted), "How can I go forward if I don't know which way I'm facing" seemed to be a massive understatement to me at the time.

How did I find myself in this situation? What did I do to deserve this? How could anyone treat another human being this way? These were all questions I was asking myself, and I truly believed that it was all done to me. That I had no hand in any of it. That my life had changed so dramatically because of someone else.

But as time went on, my thinking started to change and evolve. I would spend hours sitting in silence, turning off the TV and sitting back on the sofa, looking out my living room window to just take it all in and let my thoughts go where they may. In the beginning, those hours were filled with (thoughts of) anger, bitterness, and even despair at the direction my life had taken and where I found myself in the present. It was a bleak existence rife with negativity and I knew somehow I had to change it.

Eventually, and as time started to fade the bitterness and my new 'everday's' became somewhat of the norm, I wholeheartedly started to realize that we are the product of every choice we ever made. Everything we do or do not do is the result of a choice. We may find ourselves in a situation where we feel we may not have a choice, and I believe in some rare instances we may not, but the end result is still a decision. The decision with which how to respond. As you stated, and I'll quote you from your original post - "everything in our lives is chosen either consciously or unconsciously" - I believe to be true.

Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, "circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him", and if we think back to every savory or unsavory situation in our lives, it usually leads back to either a cluster of good or not so good decisions we made at that time period.

All of this being posted (and sorry it's so long), the only expecations I choose to live with are my own. To expect anything of anyone else is in essence holding them hostage and to your own standards, and to be quite honest, what right would I have to do so? What others may think of me is none of my business, I have enough to worry about as it is. My game plan is to stick to my game plan. I choose to treat people with kindness, to smile, and not to respond to the negative aspects around me. I choose to get out of bed everyday and open my curtains to let the sun shine through and just be thankful that I'm alive and I'm healthy -- and much more the wiser than I was five years back.

I was humbled, my ego was damaged, and I was alone, but it would ultimately lead to all of the best decisions I ever made in my life.
Thank you for sharing your words with us, I am sure others are similar to your own, all to each of their own. How ever it was a good write up you post here, enjoy reading it.

It was good to see you back chatting with us and having fun with us.
Jazen84 wrote: Great post, Daisy. I see this was posted back in March of this year, but as busy as I've been and as little as I have been on the site in the last few months, it's no surprise that I missed it.

That said, a lot of what you posted rings true with utter absolution in the way I've come to live my life. Being divorced and living alone for the past five years, I've had plenty of time to think; to evalutate the present, ponder my past, and wonder what the immediate (and long term) future held.

At first, and after 15 years of marriage, it's no surprise to feel completely and totally lost when you suddenly find yourself alone. To quote John Lennon (and I love the quotes you posted), "How can I go forward if I don't know which way I'm facing" seemed to be a massive understatement to me at the time.

How did I find myself in this situation? What did I do to deserve this? How could anyone treat another human being this way? These were all questions I was asking myself, and I truly believed that it was all done to me. That I had no hand in any of it. That my life had changed so dramatically because of someone else.

But as time went on, my thinking started to change and evolve. I would spend hours sitting in silence, turning off the TV and sitting back on the sofa, looking out my living room window to just take it all in and let my thoughts go where they may. In the beginning, those hours were filled with (thoughts of) anger, bitterness, and even despair at the direction my life had taken and where I found myself in the present. It was a bleak existence rife with negativity and I knew somehow I had to change it.

Eventually, and as time started to fade the bitterness and my new 'everday's' became somewhat of the norm, I wholeheartedly started to realize that we are the product of every choice we ever made. Everything we do or do not do is the result of a choice. We may find ourselves in a situation where we feel we may not have a choice, and I believe in some rare instances we may not, but the end result is still a decision. The decision with which how to respond. As you stated, and I'll quote you from your original post - "everything in our lives is chosen either consciously or unconsciously" - I believe to be true.

Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, "circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him", and if we think back to every savory or unsavory situation in our lives, it usually leads back to either a cluster of good or not so good decisions we made at that time period.

All of this being posted (and sorry it's so long), the only expecations I choose to live with are my own. To expect anything of anyone else is in essence holding them hostage and to your own standards, and to be quite honest, what right would I have to do so? What others may think of me is none of my business, I have enough to worry about as it is. My game plan is to stick to my game plan. I choose to treat people with kindness, to smile, and not to respond to the negative aspects around me. I choose to get out of bed everyday and open my curtains to let the sun shine through and just be thankful that I'm alive and I'm healthy -- and much more the wiser than I was five years back.

I was humbled, my ego was damaged, and I was alone, but it would ultimately lead to all of the best decisions I ever made in my life.


Every now and then, I will re read some of the thoughts I post, it will give me inner peace with the fears that I live with every day.

The way Jazen write in this post is positive thinking, help me as well as others I hope to self examine themselves. The way he write indicate that he is a intelligent person as it is so well written, help me with my English... It also make me think that he should have been an English Professor.
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