I had a toxic marriage. 15 years married. Along the road, we drifted apart. we did not feel like talking to each other any more. He got alcohol addiction. He scream at me in front of my little daughter evry day. We were poor. He counted every penny . I tried to be economic as much as i could. Just basic living. Then his grandmother passed away. Big trouble started. He went online, meeting women in philippin, gave away alot of money to them and secretly went to meet them in person but still counted every penny at home. I was deeply hurt. I wanted to divorce. He told me he would quit drinking and stop looking for women online. I thought of our daughter and agreed to stay. He bought a bigger house for us. 4 months later, everything went back as it was. He met more women online, from Russia, more than 20 years younger than him. I realized, thete is nothing left for me to hold on. I filed for divorced. But sometime , the feelings of guilty and lonely hang over me. I feel guitly that i can not keep a family for my daughter. Since i have her, i gave up my social life. I did not go out with my friends. I really feel lonely but i am scared to have any relationship since the last one made me so depress and miserable.