"Broken"

Robin Williams died today,
The news just broke my heart...
Apparent suicide, they say,
It just tore me all apart.

It's such a stark reminder,
Of what I've always known...
Often, the biggest "clowns" in life,
Are those feeling most alone.

With older age, comes wisdom,
Well, that's what some folks say...
So why do I feel more lost and "broken",
With the passing of each day?

I see folks all around me,
Caught up in fear and hate...
Sometimes, it's hard not to believe,
That, for most, it's just too late.

I'm just a human being,
No more or less than this...
I simply crave what most folks do,
A smile, a hug, a kiss.

Do others ever wonder,
As I do, most every night...
With so many "broken" older folks,
What aren't we doin' right?

So many "walking wounded",
And yet, it seems to me...
Most never find each other,
In this endless "broken sea".

Are the wounds so deep and bleeding,
That we cannot overcome?
Have our hearts just been too shattered?
Well, it seems that way, for some.

It saddens me to know that,
I will likely die alone...
Just like many others,
Who now "live" on their own.

All I ever really wanted,
Was to be loved, just for me...
And love another, in return,
Thereby, setting two hearts free.  

So can anyone please tell me,
Why it must be this way?
Why do so many "broken" folks,
NEVER have their "day"?

Am I really so unlovable,
That no one will ever care...
Or have I just built the "wall" so high,
That no one would ever dare?

How do so many "seniors",
Ever get to where we are?
Is there any way to save a heart,
From an end as one big "scar"?

If someone has the answers,
I wish you'd kindly share...
'Cause I'm dyin' more inside each day,
And it's more than I can bear. 

Oh, I'll continue "living",
No need to be concerned...
I'll play the "clown", and make you laugh,
Then die, one day, with nothing learned.  

Some say that human beings,
Are the "intelligent" life on earth...
Perhaps, just because we're so adept,
At hiding pain with mirth?

So, here's to you, Dear Robin...
May you now rest in peace...
And thanks for all the laughter...
That helped others' pain to cease.  

The tears I shed this moment,
Are for all of us who know...
That laughter often masks great pain,
And is mostly just for "show".

For all of you who feel the weight,
Of these words I write today...
Please know you're also in my heart,
I don't know what more to say. 

If you're a "broken" person too,
I know you understand...
So I'll end this now, but in my heart,
I'll reach out and take your hand.

There are so many of us...
I know this to be true...
So perhaps, one day, I'll hear you say,
"I've been looking, just for you".

Terry "da monkey" B. - August 11, 201
4
So sorry and so sad that this happen.

This is something that no one can answer to your question as to why he did it, in most case, it a mental issue that sometimes they don't recognize and they don't think they need help for it, but when it come to suicide, it to late, sometimes they feel so alone and sad that they don't see a way out, perhaps separation or divorce like "Mrs. Doubtfire" He only see it as a comic for t.v. but not in his real life? Who knows unless he wrote a note stating his reason.
Monkey, your poem is "perfect" and it is right from your heart of hearts.  Your pain shows and it made me CRY because every word you said was so real and so heartfelt.

Thank you Monkey for this beautiful poem.  And if you give me permission, I would love to have a copy of it with your signature on the bottom.  You should put a copyright sign on it like this ©.  For me, I do "option" "G".  It will be different for you with a PC I think, but I am sure DaddyFish can teach you how to do it.  That will prevent anyone from this day forward from ever using this peom, as it is penned by YOU.

Thank you again, and I have told you before on the other poem.  You got talent kid!  I don't say that unless I mean it.  :wink:

Jessy 
With some computer is an Alt code

Press and hold the ALT key and type the number 0169 to get copyright symbol, You have to hold down the alt key while pressing the numbers by using the number pad keys
Star has it right for a PC - alt+0169. You can view a full chart of "alt codes" at http://www.tedmontgomery.com/tutorial/altchrc.html

Have fun! :)
THANK YOU, Ladies, for the kind comments on my poem...and BIG THANKS also to Star & DaddyFish, for the copyright symbol code for PC. I actually did follow Star's instructions for other copies I posted elsewhere...but it's not really very important to me that someone might "steal" my words...cuz the WORDS were merely an "expression" of what is in my heart...and I am the only one who can "own" those feelings...therefore, no one can actually "steal" this from me.  

In any case, it's not about "praise" or "recognition" for my writing...or worrying that someone else will steal my words. Many folks here at 50Plus are MUCH better writers than me. No, in the end...it's only about knowing that my words may help other lonely folks to feel that they're not REALLY "alone" in their loneliness...if that makes any sense. The bottom line is...I NEEDED to "purge" my heart & soul a bit...and if, in doing so, it might touch even one other person...particularly, one who might be contemplating suicide...then, all the tears I've shed today & in the past will be more than worth the pain attached to them.

Sometimes, it helps a little, just to "spill one's guts"...to let others know that even ChuckleMonkeys don't chuckle all the time. I hope this "clears up" any misconceptions on that issue too. :wink:
 
It is a wonderful gift that you have, should write down what is in your heart and keep it, neva know how famous you will be :wink:
Terry thank you so much for this poem and the special words from your heart. I'm right there with you my dear friend as we both know what loneliness is like as many others do. You're a very special woman and have a great talent for writing and expressing yourself completely that others understand. Shock about Robin Williams isn't the best way to express how I feel about Robin's death. He always made me laugh but still have that serious side when necessary. I guess his depression just took such a great hold of his life. :( Keep on writing monk because I love to read what you talk about and things that make me feel the same way you do. Be good and have a great day.

Luvs ya da monkey
Your friend Thelma (simplyme52) lol in case you forget who I am lmao

HUGS
BIG THANKS to Star & SM for your compassionate & encouraging comments...I am truly honored & humbled...even if YOU (SM) are SOOO SILLY...like I could "forget" you, ya goofy girl...LOL

I just chatted with my beautiful "cyber adopted son" in Peru for nearly 3 hours...and he is such a great blessing in my life...so I'm feeling a bit better now. Sadly, though only 22, he also suffers from depression...so it did me a lot of good, just to see him laughing so much, from the silly things I said to him. It often still amazes me, how much joy my "cyber family" can give me...even from across the globe. I am truly blessed.You gals please take care & be blessed also.

Love & hugs,
Da monkey 
  :D
CM, I think you are a very wise woman. You 'get' it. Bless you.